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Photo courtesy of Elaine Harr Jones.
Saint Michaels – The Christmas spirit is alive and well in Saint Michaels where a local man spent his time and effort putting up a heartwarming Christmas display depicting Santa and his sleigh being rammed through by an F-104 jet. “I wanted to do something that would spread the love and joy of the holiday season,” said the local man, who wished to remain anonymous. “I thought about a nativity scene, but I didn't feel like that was Christmasy enough, so I though long and hard. And then it hit me: Santa being struck by an F-104 jet! Suddenly this warm glow came over me and I knew I had struck Christmas gold!”
Since the display went up four weeks ago, people have come from miles around to join in that warm Christmas glow. “I've come every night since it's been up,” said Janice Summerville, a local resident who reported that the Christmas spirit is alive and well in her from Dec. 1st through Jan. 6th and then after that could care less about her fellow human beings. “It's been beautiful. The other night about 30 of us were here and we broke into a rousing version of 'Silent Night'. Then a fight broke out and six people were arrested. It's one of those Christmas memories that will stay with you forever. Beautiful...just beautiful.”
The display has been so popular that several local schools and daycares have even bused students to the display. One such daycare, Manor Discovery, recently took their four-year-old preschoolers and reported that the trip was a huge success. “When we got off the bus, kids were immediately overwhelmed with tears of joy,” said one teacher. “One kept asking over and over, 'Is Rudolph dead? Sweet Moses, is Rudolph dead?!’” referring to the famous reindeer, who is shown stuck in the jet's fuselage, likely burning to death. “Several students were concerned that Christmas would be canceled,” noted another teacher. “But we assured the kids that Rudolph's severe burns would not dampen the holiday.”
A fifth grade student from Saint Michaels even started a Save Rudolph Fund, saying that the reindeer likely has months of painful skin graft surgeries ahead of him, followed by months of brutal physical therapy. “I can't get the picture out of my head,” said the visibly shaken child. “I'm just impressed that Santa and the rest of his staff seemed to survive being hit by a jet going 1,000 mph. That's impressive.”
Several parents applauded the display, especially Margaret Stanton who said, “My husband lost his job and we gambled away our savings at the Harrington slots, so we were trying to figure out how to tell our kids that there would be no Christmas. This made it easy for us. We just showed them that Santa had been in a horrible accident and that Christmas would have to be canceled. We're just keeping our fingers crossed that at Easter time they put up a display showing the Easter Bunny suffering some sort of similar fate. Hiding Easter eggs is a royal pain in the %&$ and we just don't feel like doing it this year.”
The homeowners have asked that parents not bring children who are sensitive to displays showing reindeer being burned alive. They would also like to remind people that this display is not real and was simply done in good fun. If such an accident were to actually occur, Santa, the reindeer and all of the elves would have died excruciating deaths and would have been burned beyond recognition.
**DISCLAIMER: The blog is intended for mature audiences and can't be held liable for corrupting young minds. It is also not factual and was created for entertainment purposes, not actual news coverage.