Today my daughter turns five. She has made me laugh more times than I can count. I'm not sure if she intends to be a comedienne, but she pulls it off like a seasoned pro. Here is some of her best material.
1. “I'm a princess, my old mom is the Queen, my old dad is the King and my sister is a waitress.” Apparently Sofia has been reincarnated and in her old life, she was part of a royal family...well, except for her sister who was a waitress. Seems to me the sister got the raw end of the deal here.
2. Sofia: "Daddy, how is your boo-boo on your hand?"
Me: "It's a lot better. Thanks for asking"
Sofia: "Well, Daddy, that's what friends are for." Always nice to know someone cares!
3. “Why do grown ups always have old parents?” My parents really enjoyed this one.
4. “Daddy, can we get an x-ray machine so I can see Lilly's bones?” Does anyone know where I can get a cheap x-ray machine for a 4-year-old to use on the family dog?
5. “I am a really good hooker, aren't I?” This was said after she “hooked” her pants button.
6. "I do not like these parents!" This was said at the top of her lungs at the grocery store when she was told she could not buy gum.
7. Sofia: "Why do we get up everyday and go to school and then come home when it's dark and then do it all again tomorrow?"
Me: "You go to school so you can learn and get smart. "
Sofia: "Yeah, but it's not making me any money." I feel her pain!
8. "I'm going to the Waterfall Festival." Sofia announced this to her class at school. It's actually the Waterfowl Festival and she did report that for a waterfall festival, they were very limited in the number of waterfalls they presented.
9. Sofia: "Mexico makes the best Dora Pizza ."
Claudia: "Is Mexico a person? "
Sofia: "No! Mexico's a store." Ah, Mexico. One of our country's greatest stores!
10. "All you have to do is walk up to the bank and ask them for all of their money and they will give it to you." Hmm...I believe they call that bank robbery. Here's hoping she testifies on my behalf!
Happy Birthday, Sofia! May you keep me (and the rest of us) laughing for years to come.