February 6, 2012

Do you like this?

When I came across a class offered at my church to help me in raising my six-foot two-inch tall 16-year old son, I jumped on it. The name of the class, “Five Conversations You Must Have With Your Son,” caught my attention. With one son out of the nest, I am grappling with quickly losing the other one. In only two more years, he will be heading off to college too and severing the ties with home.

As a mother, I often think about all those things I may not have told my children about life. Have I told them such safety issues as not mixing ammonia and bleach when cleaning (if they will even end up cleaning their houses), checking food for expiration dates before eating it (not to mention examining it for mold), and changing their smoke detector batteries when the time changes twice a year (I checked my oldest son’s apartment smoke detectors when I was there last and they were all hanging from the ceilings without batteries!)?

But more importantly, I wonder if I have had told them how important it is to find a partner who will love them for their faults, honor and respect them, and not want to change the person they truly are.  Have I told them that they should never compromise their values and ethics no matter what situation faced them? Do they know that no matter how bad their day is, tomorrow promises a new beginning?

When my son saw me come in the door with the book for my class, he commented, “Mom, we have five important conversations every day.”  I replied, “Really?” He answered wittily, explaining, “When I get home from school, you ask, ‘How was your day?’ and I answer you.” He went on to say, “Then I ask you what we are having for dinner. You answer that you don’t know.”  He went on, saying, “Then you tell me you are leaving for meeting or an errand.”  I tell him that is only two conversations, but he adds, “When you get home, I ask you again what is for dinner and you tell me you still don’t know, but you don’t want to cook dinner.  Then, later I ask you when we are going to eat dinner and you tell me soon. Finally, I ask you when dinner will be ready and you say, NOW – wash your hands!”

To hear my son’s version of our daily conversations, I certainly don’t offer him many new ideas in the course of a day. While I haven’t started my class yet, I am sure it will broaden the scope of what we talk about.

The course I am taking is based on the book, “Five Conversations You Must Have With Your Son,” by Vicki Courtney. I scanned the topics the course will offer over the next five weeks and they include:

  • Don’t define manhood by the culture’s wimpy standards
  • What you don’t learn to conquer may become your master
  • Not everyone’s doing it
  • Boyhood is only for a season
  • Godly men are short in supply

Somehow, I don’t think that I will be so worried about the mold and the smoke detectors when I am finished with this class.  My boy is becoming a man and I will be privileged to experience his transformation and maybe even talk about what that feels like – that is, if he is not asking me what’s for dinner!


February 6, 2012

Comments (7)

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conversations with your son

Boys are great and I love both of mine. One of the hardest things I'm learning is when NOT to say something- to let things settle and see what "rises to the top". That's how I'm (hopefully) getting better at being a mother to grown young men!!
Great blog, Amy!!!

Melissa more than 2 years ago


Hahahahaha, that boy! Funny and true. I read an awesome article on the plane about fulfilling your dreams and goal setting that I (of course) left on the plane. I want to dig it out on the web and share it with you. It is great for our babes to read.

Kimberly Weller more than 2 years ago

important conversations

good one! i can hear Connor's words drifting through you house....

cb more than 2 years ago

Keep the laughter

They hear a lot more than they let on, at least till they are 30 something when life has touched them a little more as they are on their own and they "look back" and sometimes "think back" on times at home with nostalgia. Then it is time to "get even" with some laughter as visiting my oldest son one late afternoon, who loves to cook , I asked him "what's for dinner mom" and we did have a good laugh......Have a great class but do not let formulas spoil the laughter and craziness, they do make great memories to hold on to.

Lorie Mumaw more than 2 years ago


Great post Amy! I can hear Connor saying it now. And by the way...what's for dinner?!

Tracey Munson more than 2 years ago

They continue to learn after high school.

Sometimes the high school kids are hard to reach. Their parents don't know anything, after all. They may not be ready to hear what you have to say.

A college student living in an apartment for the first time is more apt to listen. It may suddenly dawn on them that you were right when you said they could save a lot of money by eating in more often.

Carol Trice more than 2 years ago

The class!

Join the class! Wednesday evenings 6:30-7pm beginning Feb. 15th at St. Mark's UMC. E-mail

Angie Nestel more than 2 years ago

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